So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
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