Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
