so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
