I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just sucked dick on a ferry
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
