i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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