Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
