That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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