i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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