oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
