two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
