I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Shame is for Republicans.
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