ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
