how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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