That's intense
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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