I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
