Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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