Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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