dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Randomize
