Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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