You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
