I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
