I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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