You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My dad just said "fuck circus"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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