Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
