At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
