As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You are a booty call, not a friend.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
