What a fucking waste of an outfit
My brain says no but my pants say off.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
