I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
