Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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