so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
