I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
worst night to have a conscience
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
