just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
