So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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