operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
