HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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