when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
