Ambien. No doubt about it.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
