what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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