Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
