two words: eviction party
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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