New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
