You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
