he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
