Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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