go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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