I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
