dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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