hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
