I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
