if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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