he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
