You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
